Q: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic?
A: It has a 12 month waiting list.

Q: What's long & green & has a low I.Q.?
A: A St. Patrick's Day Parade

Q: Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
A: He couldn't afford plane fare.

Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!